everything's changing now, isn't it?

This crazy night will make you evaporate
as you soak in stars and nightmares,
the blades of grass, the wind,
the endless suffocation of summer.
And soon it will all disappear
just like you are now,
rising into the air,
fading, melting really, into the landscape.
Becoming the sky, the breeze,
your eyes stars and your mouth a moon.
Morphing into your surroundings like a chameleon.
You sigh and the tree leaves shiver.
You laugh and the waters ripple.
If you cry, we'll both be drowned.

Wait.
Please wait for me to tell you I love you.
Please stop becoming the grass and tree bark long enough.
I am sitting here still human, after all.
I would like to tell you
while I can still see your face shining through the midnight,

there is no one else could make me hope as much as you.

******

so i have decided to share some poetry as well with you. if there even is a "you" as i'm pretty sure no one cares about this silly blog. but i'm determined to let this blog live and see how it comes out. it's another way for me to get out all the little monsters intide my brain, so i want to keep it. i've just noticed a little note on my wall from my niece. it says "i love you, jessie <3 courtney."

here are some pictures from months ago when i was in new york. they're film and i didn't bother editing them. i kinda need to go back right now. i kinda need to live anywhere else right now.



the last is of me and my good friend, kelly. she's in college now. everyone is going to college. i'm tired of change. my pockets are filled with pennies.